there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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