Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
