I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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