The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
