Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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