so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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