bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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