Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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