i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just pee around me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
