is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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