Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She said her name was "party"
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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