Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
