D3 body, D1 cock
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
