KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
