i dont even know how to be here
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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