sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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