Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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