I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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