Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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