You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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