Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
God, I missed his penis.
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