i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
