For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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