You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
