my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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