I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
