what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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