I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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