When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
