Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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