tell your sister to shave her snatch
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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