Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
