I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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