I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
