Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
