Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize