Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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