do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
