did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Jerry, you need to find god
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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