let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
