Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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