I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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