sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
