id be glad to
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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