Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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