this beer tastes like vomit already
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize