Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
