We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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