Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
