I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
