That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
