I want to walk on stilts...naked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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