It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
