WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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