Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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