Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
