Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
